Man fasting

This is not a good movie to watch while man fasting.

That's right, I said it. I'm man fasting. I am putting the control of the situation back into my own hands. For the rest of Lent (aka next Sunday, and about as long as I think I could possibly actually go through with this) I am man fasting. I'm not sure exactly what this will exactly mean, but basically I'm not going to think about guys. Not going to go on any dates (not that I've had many offers lately), I'm just not going to focus my energy and attention on men. I am man fasting. If you choose to do this with me, I suggest not watching a chick flick. Like I have broke down and started doing with the roomie. Thank you Oxygen.

So why am I man fasting you ask? Because I'm sick of trying with guys. S is way too hooked on his ex, or whatever they ware. Friends, yep. The Boy Formally, friends. And now Plaid. Jesus, that's a story.

So I texted him on Thursday. Never heard anything else. I was out with E last night, so she was like "Hey, you should give Plaid a call, see what he's up to." So I did. Very casual, very la la la. "Hey, it's ______, I just wanted to see what you were up to, if you wanted to do something tonight or this weekend. Give me a call." or something to that extent. About five minutes later E decided that she wanted to text him. So she texts him wondering if he has any big plans for St. Patty's day. We hear nothing. Which is so odd for him, he always at least answers my texts. So fast forward to about 12h30 in the morning when E's phone goes off. It's him. Seriously?!?! He can respond to her text but not my phone call. Fucking A. And so when she asked him what he had been up to that night he said "Oh a whole lot of nothing, just playing my guitar". (He plays blues guitar by the way). Really. You couldn't even text me back? So, to take the words from my favorite show, Sex and the City

"I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly. As an asshole."

But the thing is he's not an ass. But I seriously won't be the first one to speak. It's his move.

Man fasting would be so much easier if there wasn't the beautiful Alltel man working next door to me. Where I work (we'll call it P2, because well, we actually have nicknamed it that in real life, so why not here too) is a store in a plaza (locally owned business, I've known the owner almost my entire life, mainly because I grew up with her son), and next door to our store is an Alltel store. And one of the most beautiful men you have ever seen works there. He promised me yesterday he would come in today to get some St. Patty's day stuff (we're a party supply store, needless to say we have it all, except liquor, we're not that kind of party store). And he showed up! He said "I told you I'd be back" with this huge smile. It was in a way that if I try and type how adorable that one line is it can't fully en capture it, and I'm sure it sounds like nothing, but it was great. And he's Irish. And he called me sweetheart (typically a pet peeve of mine, but common, he's Irish, on St. Patty's day, calling me sweetheart. How can you resist?). And I got to go see him when I needed more $1's. Of course I'll drool and swoon over him. I'm man fasting. It's only logically that a beautiful man come see me at work this weekend. Sigh.

I am exhausted. This is what working at my store will do to you on a holiday. Man. So of course after a long day at work and then cleaning my place up, I have not been motivated to get any work done. I'm royally fucked for my Orgo (Organic Chemistry) exam that I have on Monday. Greeeeeat.

So the past two nights I've had some odd dreams. And both of them have had my dad in them. Now this might not seem too odd to most people, but my dad was killed in a car accident last summer. July 17 to be exact. Odd yet? I've only had him in one other dream of mine a while ago. I also tend to dream a lot and remember most of them, which is always amusing. So two nights ago he was in my dream, and I was sick apparently. And he kept telling me I was sick, and something was wrong and he had to take me to the hospital. In my dream I was all light headed and fainty, and at one point I just fell off the bar stool (at his house we had a bar and bar stools instead of a dining room table and chairs), so he picked me up and took me to the hospital. He laid me down on a gurney and told me it would be ok, but I have to go to the hospital. The last thing I remember is just laying there. And then last night I dreamed he was driving me home in his old car, and we stopped to push Texter and his friends (they were in his jeep) out of the mud. The only conversation was just me saying "Don't help him" and my dad saying "We can help him, he's stuck, it'll only take a minute". That's all. So if I dream about him again tonight I might freak out a bit. I miss him so much.

I felt like there was more to say, but I am so sleepy and of course I have to work bright and early, and then spend the rest of my day studying my little booty off. I hope everyone had a fun and safe Saturday St. Patty's day night out!