OMG

These are amazing.

I got the like from miss Pretty in the City for these Rap Graphs and I absolutely love them!

Some of my personal favorites

Power stance

Oh men and their power stances. What is it about that.

You know what I'm talking about. The feet hip (or more) length apart, spread out, hands on the hip (fists closed of course), with just a slight lean with the pelvic area positioned forward.

Very super hero like. Ok, so I have no room to talk because I have my own personal power stance, actually a few of them, that I enjoy using. They come in handy.

Texter gave me the hard core power stance today, when we actually talked, face to face, in person. No texting no messages, no nothing. In person for the first time since our falling out. And I didn't even realize it was happening until he was right there in my face.

I saw him this morning when I walked into our lecture hall, but I went and sat down where I usually do, and I'm getting out my notebook, and I look up, and there he is standing full stance mode, in his gorgeous red button down shirt and black dress pants. Yum, damn.

He wanted to brag about being at my old high school. He wanted to let me know that within his first two days there he broke up a fight and a kid took a swing at him.

Go figure, he is at my old high school.

But besides the point, he was doing a very male very powerful very, "I am man hear me roar, woo over me". And I did some work via Stalkbook (so sue me, I stalk), and he's not in a relationship with the girl (Barbie) I thought he was. And there's no sign of a relationship on there anywhere. I'm wondering if he just has that up.

Nope, my mind is not even going there.

But God he looked good today.

In other boy news, I feel like I always have an update to give on these three different guys. Time for S.

S and I are back to talking like normal, I think E was right and I just needed to make the first move. And since he was always the one to make the first move before, it's only fair that it's my turn. But he is out of town for the weekend. Bummer. But like he said to me last night, I'll be there in spirit. Ohh boys. I'm looking forward to my drunk dials/texts, his are always enjoyable. He's a great guy, I wish Will would get to know him.

I tried just casually bring up my birthday, and Will thinks that no guys should be allowed (except for him of course), seeing as we have the whole Sex and the City theme going on. S will be there though, there's no way he won't be. They will all just have to deal, it's my day, and I can't wait!

And now Boom Boom. Dear God. I feel like I should copy paste some of the messages he's sent me. He's in Canada for the weekend, and he can't text while he's there. So he's been sending me Facebook/Stalkbook messages. In fact, let me pull some up right quick.

Part of the first I got:

"Either way, nice talking to you tonight dearie- now we MUST make arrangements for going out for drinks and the ensuing funny ex-stories, dancing, and mayhem that will ensue =) I get the distinct impression that it can and will be a fun time for us to drink together lol.I hope the remainder of your evening goes splendid; in the meantime- you better be curling up in that bed at a decent hour =) Sweet dreams tonight, and I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow =)"

And from the second

"In the meantime- you & I must work on getting you some appropriate sunwear to enjoy ;) Side note- nice profile photo; yea though I walk in the valley in the shadow of breast.. I shall..umm.. yeahhhhh hehehe.. I suppose if you got the goods, you might as well display properly, I mean, isnt that considered artistic expression ;)"

And I'm just gonna throw a little side note in here. My boobs, not big. Seriously, almost non-existent. I just know how to buy really great bra's. I LOVE Victoria's Secret. So I think it's funny that he thinks I have great boobs. They're a nice hand full (not that he knows that, but I do), but I really just graduated to a 36-B 2 years ago. Before then I could wear the same bra I had in middle school. And even now I'm barely a B. Just throwing it out there.

And from the third, from the end of quite the book I might add

"Additionally- as for sunwear, that can include anything from a cute outfit (that's yours to deal with lol) to sunglasses (which I can handle). I know you asked about it and so you and C may get to be my "test pairs" for this summer to make some higher end product.. you interested dearie?? So Victoria Secret and a tiara.. hmm sounds like an outfit or a Halloween costume lol ;)"

Yep, I got called dearie again. God I hate that.

Seriously, I need help with this guy. I am doing my best not to flirt with him at all. I am giving off all the "just friends" vibe. Drastic times call for drastic measures. iGuy knows I have a boyfriend, or thinks I have a boyfriend, why can't he tell him?? I might have to. I can handle that.

Any suggestions? I'm open to just about everything.

I think that's all for the update tonight. It's sad not too much else is happening in my life besides work and boys. I'm sure you all don't want to hear about the exciting Physics lectures I've been sitting through.

Attachment fast?

So I knew that there was a reason why I went on a man fast. Life with men is just so complicated.

And this is when most people chime in and say, no life is only complicated if you make it complicated.

Well I call that bullshit, I can sit back and relax and my life would still be complicated. Whatever.

Texter update time!

And I really can't make this mess up, I should have posted this yesterday when it happened.

Texter has always been in my science classes because he has minors in biology and chemistry (like me), and his major is Secondary Education, and he wants to teach high school science. Now he's not from around here, but I am (obviously, and unfortunately), and to top it all off, my mum is the science coordinator and head of the science department for the middle school and high schools in our local public school district.

You will never guess where Texter started his pre-internship yesterday.

Thats right, at my old high school, where my brother currently goes to school, and my mother is one of his bosses.

Shut up. I still can't believe it!

We haven't spoken in 4 months and now he's back. And everywhere.

And now, for Boom Boom. I was considering calling him Bartender, but I feel like Boom Boom is more fun. Boom Boom used to bartend in the Boom Boom Room in Windsor Canada, hence the name Boom Boom. He's in the a cappella group that the roomie and I joined, and he's one of iGuy's best friends. Lordy.

I have absolutely no attraction towards him, he's just a nice, sweet, funny guy. And of course, he wants me. Sigh. Why? I have no feelings for him. Why is it so hard for me to find a guy that I want and who wants me back?

So he got my number off of Stalkbook (aka Facebook), and he started texting me last night while I was out to dinner and on my way to the movies with E.

It's my new theory that texting could be the downfall of relationships. What happened to good old fashioned calling and talking? Even though I do love me some texting. Hmmm...

So anywho, it continued when I got home from the movies, all the way to him calling me dearie and wishing me goodnight and sweet dreams.

I think my IQ drops a few points every time he calls me dearie, I swear to goodness.

Then of course I got the text this morning at 10h30 while I was in lecture asking how I slept and how my day was going so far.

Ugh. And yes, we are still texting right now. I really need to learn how to stop.

Wherever this is going it should be interesting. To say the least.

And in yet another boy news, S and I still have yet to hang out since he's been back from Cali, and he's going out of town again this weekend. Bummer. We also haven't been talking as much as we did before he left, but that's really because of our schedules just not matching up at all.

E and I talked about it and she said a lot of their friendship has to do with her making the first move or effort to talk or hang out. Which is odd when I thought about it because he and I never had that issue. But then again, he was always the one to initiate our conversations or us hanging out most of the time. So maybe it's just my turn. We'll see. That is if our schedules ever match up so that we're home or around at the same time.

Sigh.

So the roomie and I decided that instead of man fasting, we're just going to do an attachment fast. There is to be no emotional attachment to be had. I think that's the best plan. Texting, spooning, talking, and anything along those physical lines is allowed, just no emotional chow chow allowed.

Sounds like a game plan. Hopefully it'll work.

We also decided that none of the guys in my life are allowed to meet each other. Check.

Also, if you have not seen Forgetting Sarah Marshal, go see it right now! It is constantly funny and I don't think I've laughed that hard in a movie in I don't know how long!

I just got called "sweetie" in a text...not as bad as "dearie" but my IQ did drop a few. And right before lab. Sheesh.

EEEE! Excitement!

EEEEEEEEEE I'm so excited!

So apparently, according to Will, the Oprah episode on the Sex and the City movie got leaked and it's on Youtube right now! You know I already watched the whole thing!

I have never been more excited about a movie in my life! Not even when RENT came out and I made it back to the States from Paris two days before it was pulled out of theaters in my city!

You know you want the links and to watch it.

It's divided into six parts, so you can watch the first one HERE and then the links to the other parts are listed with it.

Oh and in case you didn't know, the movie comes out on my birthday! It's perfect! And only 24 more days to go!

In other news, you will never believe who is in my physics class this summer.

Texter.

I shit you not. I couldn't make this up if I tried.

Not only that, but we haven't spoken in 4 months since all of the drama. And he texted me today.

Bloody hell. I'll find out on Thursday if he's in my lab.

It's strange, but I almost feel the desire to be friends with him again. I know I know, bad bad BAD idea.

But, maybe not?

BEST FACE EVER

I so wish I had a camera on me when this moment happened.

Not that I would even want to stop the moment, but God his face was priceless.

So this afternoon it was beautiful out so my roomie and I decided to walk to go get ice cream. Save on gas and burn calories while doing it. It's maybe a mile each way, tops.

So on our way back we stop on Will's campus since it's right there to eat, and it's beautiful and I know a fun spot that not too many people outside of his campus know about. So we eat, have fun. They were doing "spring fling" on the quad, we just kind of wandered and I looked around to see if I knew anyone. And of course I joke about running into Will's ex.

"I had often fantasized about running into my ex and his wife. But in those fantasies, I was running over them with a truck."

Thank you Sex and the City.

This is his ex, that put him through hell and back, multiple times, for two years. The guy who is gay, who won't come out, and is attached at the hip to his bitch best friend. May they both burn in hell for treating Will the way they did.

And well needless to say over the years I have managed to put the fear of God into this boy.

And I ran into him on their campus today.

Oh God was it fantastic.

We were just walking on our way home up a street, and I look over and who is sitting there but the two of them. And you know how you do the double take and then stare for a bit with the confused look on your face when you're trying to place how you know someone. Well we both did that. And then it hit me. And then it hit him.

And his jaw dropped.

I wish I could have captured that moment of realization on film.

It just made my whole day.

Oh and how much did I love this scene?

Did anyone else love it on Grey's Anatomy last night when Callie asked Meredith and Christina if they have ever been mistaken for a couple?

Callie: Did anyone ever think you two were a couple?
Meredith: No because we screw boys like whores on tequila.
Cristina: And then we either try to marry them or drown ourselves.

E could this be us? Or do I just relate way too much to this for my own good.

I'm so unbelievably happy that this show is back on with new episodes!

I won!

I have officially won my first court case!

Woo hoo!

Finally, thank you goodness.

My former step-brother actually showed to! My face must have been priceless when he walked in the door. He had yet to show up to any of our previous 3 court dates. So the fact that he showed up to this last one is just baffling. He said that his mum and sister (my old step-mum and step-sister, we're all still pretty close) had been giving him a lot of shit for doing this all to me and not taking responsibility and such. Thank God they have some sense too. So he showed, said he would do whatever we wanted. So we went to trial, he testified, and we won!

Then I went to my dad's grave, and the cunt with no soul had been there. I know this because there was a wreath of flowers with a ribbon in the middle that said "dad". She has three kids, two daughters and one son. I don't hold anything against them, they can't help that they're mother is psychotic. And they're kids. You can't hold grudges against kids. But still. It kills me that they call him "daddy" and she's still keeping this mess up. I put two white roses by his grave (I always do two roses, one for me and one for my brother), and I was on my way back home again.

Will asked me to help him find a gift for his sister. He asked for my girl opinion. He sent me to Tiffany's website to go to town and pick out something for her since we have similar taste.

Why do I have a sneaky feeling that he's looking for something for my birthday? He was complaining the other day that he doesn't know what to get me.

The necklace at the top is my favorite. It's zoomed in so you can't see the whole thing, but hanging down is a pearl pendant. If you want to look at it go to Tiffany's website HERE.

If Will got me Tiffany's for my birthday I would have a stroke, and I would kill him. Granted I did buy him the Armani necklace he wanted for Christmas, but even so, that besides the point. He's done so much for me this last year, and just forever, so he earned something.

I would also really love a pair of Chanel earrings. The classic. I think every girl should have some.

Who has a spooning date?

Wow, time for an actual update!

Thanks for all the congrats on passing my Calc class, I'm so geeked about that you have no idea! And I also passed Anatomy and Orgo despite the raping that was our final. It was definitely my worst semester grade wise, but it was also a semester from hell for me, so I'm just glad I survived it. I can't believe I have to start back up with class on Monday.

That's right, I'm taking summer classes. Well, just 2 actually. Physics both of our summer sessions here. Blah.

And the store I work at has me working 31 hours next week on top of class and lab. Holy hell. Can we say Mafia will have no life? I think we can. That's what happens when prom and graduation season starts up. It's our busiest time of the year. My hands hate me. Between the past 3 days at work I have imprinted (by hand each one mind you with a little imprinting machine) over 45 packages of napkins and blown with a hand pump over a thousand 5" pearlized balloons (and those balloons were just today). I know that doesn't mean much to people, E and Snookie will appreciate it since they used to work with me, but needless to say my hands basically hate me right now.

So finals week came and went. I went shopping and bought 2 new dresses. One was black and white and gorgeous and I wore it to the banquet on Saturday, and the other is hot pink and I plan on wearing that on my birthday. Oh so fitting.

So now for the banquet that was the shit show of my weekend. For a refresher on what the banquet was see THIS post. Basically my dad was being awarded the lifetime achievement award, and my brother and I were asked to accept it at a banquet. I looked absolutely fabulous, which was helping with the all around awkward situation.

So I suppose I should take a few steps back and give a back story to the cunt who can burn in hell, AKA my dad's fiance before he died. This woman will haunt me until the day I die. To make a long story short, she's insane, was a possible con-artist (shit you not, the woman had moved some odd 30 times and had at least 5 different identities). This bitch was suing me within a week of me burying my dad, she also changed her and her 3 children's last name to our last name, stole things from him, payed for his funeral with his own business state credit card, put incorrect information out in his obituary, and has basically made my life a living hell. Oh and PS, she had a new boyfriend within 2 months of him dying. In a nutshell. Which is why she'll be called the cunt with no soul who will burn in hell. Harsh words, but so deserving.

She is also an EMT, so the odds of her being at this banquet are pretty high. Whatever, as Will said and I did not follow his advice, is I'll just have to mentally prepare myself for that. So we get there, people ask to take our picture, we're getting tons of looks because my uncle was also there and he looks JUST like my dad it even still scares me sometimes. Everything is fine and dandy, we shake a few hands, talk to people, eat. And then it comes to be time to accept the award that no one knew was coming. So the woman who is president of the EMS Expo gets up and starts talking, and she starts crying because she was friends with my dad, this other guy gets up there and starts talking, and he starts crying. I start crying, the whole room of hundreds of EMT's start crying, a mess basically. So she says "Pauls's (my dads actual name) children are here, and I'm going to call them up, but I'd like to show you all this video that was put together first."

So this powerpoint presentation comes up with some cheese-tastic music playing. And it's saying words like, loyal, caring, loving, dedicated. And then it gets fishy when it starts to say, daddy, husband, partner....

I swear to God I thought I was going to have a panic attack. Because then it happened.

Her "name" came up. Honoring my dad, with his middle name spelled wrong of course, made in loving memory by Tammy (cunts real name too) ______(my last name).

I damn near fell out of my chair. My mum grabbed my leg so hard.

The audacity.

And then came up pictures of her and him. And her children. There was one picture with my little brother and her kids. Nowhere was I mentioned. Not that I wanted to be, this was about him and his life and his work. But damn. Put her kids in there and not me? WTF? Seriously.

So I started balling my eyes out. I couldn't even tell you what half of the presentation was. I was too busy trying to not completely fall apart because I had to go up on stage and smile and accept this award like nothing was wrong.

I don't think I have ever wanted to get out of a room so quickly in my life.

So basically I spent the rest of the night crying. It was a blast let me tell you what.

Whatever, just not thinking about it any more.

And then I slept a whopping 3 hours that night tops. I just couldn't sleep, and when I finally fell asleep my gay boyfriend called me when he got done bartending at 3am to see how I was. Then S texted me at 2am his time (he was in Cali at the time), which meant it was 5am my time. Sheesh. Apparently I'm not allowed to sleep. We texted for about an hour, and at about 3 am his time (6am my time, the birds were definitely up and chirping) he sent me this text:

S: Why are you still up?

Me: I couldn't sleep. And this drunk keeps texting me. Why are you still up, isn't it past your bedtime?

S: Time change.

Me: It still makes it 3am there.

S: Yeah but this sober chick keeps texting me.

Yep, I definitely said goodnight and ending our texting banter after that.

So yes, S is back in town. He got back in at about 11pm on Monday night. We haven't had the chance to hang out yet since he's been back, oh well it'll happen eventually.

E don't get any ideas. I know you're reading this and have all sorts of crazy things running through your head. Speak to him and I'll kill you. With love of course.

My birthday is in 29 days! How excited am I? And you know that means that's when the Sex and the City movie comes out! So E and Will and I have started to semi plan out the big weekend event that is my birthday. Basics include drinking with my mum, dinner with friends, and then out for two heavy nights of drinking at the bars. I'm so unbelievably excited you don't even know.

But get this shitty thing. I was talking to Will about the plans, small dinner with close friends. I say it'll probably be him, and E, me, S, the roomie, and then maybe another girlfriend, or maybe Will's boyfriend. We'll see. And Will is just like, "I'm not coming if S is going to be there. You have to decide which of us you want to be there."

What. The. Fuck.

Really? Will really? Are you going there? Because you know I'll have to choose the best friend. But I made the executive decision that it's my birthday, I will have whomever I want to be there, and Will will just have to put up with S being there. Especially since I already told S he was invited, which is just kinda something we both assumed.

I don't know why Will doesn't like him. I'll just have to tell S to make nice with him or something. Will has absolutely no reason not to be friends with S. Who knows. Once again E, should you see this, you are not allowed to bring anything up in this blog to the boys, you know the deal :)

So that's my plan. Plus my birthday is still a month away, lots could change in that time.

I have to go to court again tomorrow. Boo. I am so not looking forward to that. Especially since Will can't come with me this time since he has a midterm (he goes to a different school than I do). Ugh. I'm so in denial about having to go. Even though I have to be up bright and early to be on the road. God I'm so sick of this estate mess.

Oh and lastly to the title of my post. I'm sure E will appreciate it. So the roomie and I ended up going to the acappella group that I talked about in THIS post. It was an absolute blast, you have no idea. Everyone is amazing, we all just clicked, the voices blended, our personalities meshed. Amazing basically.

So the guy that founded the group is a really cool guy. Funny, nice, and E and I thought a bit of a creeper at first. Hmm, he needs a nickname. iGuy. Because he has an iPhone and is FOREVER on it all the time, and the name Texter was already taken. So iGuy is always texting me and the roomie about rehearsals and just mess in general, and this was before we even met him. Mind you he tried to do this to me during finals week, but I just ignored him, so no issues. But one day he was texting me and I was at work and couldn't text back. And he does this annoying thing if you don't respond to him right away.

Ahem.

Seriously, he'll text "ahem" as if he's clearing his throat. Drives me INSANE. So anywho, E and I are out shopping and then out to dinner and he texts me again. Sheesh. So I just end up telling him I have a boyfriend (E's idea by the way, I was pondering saying that anyways, but of course I love her encouragement). So I say "Sorry I can't talk, I'm out with the bf"

That shut him up real quick.

So we go to the rehearsal, and then go out to dinner with the group. It's an amazing time. He's no longer too creeper with the texting, he's redeemed himself. So fast forward to Tuesday night. He's talking to my roomie online after we watched 27 Dresses and it put her in quite the romantic mood and wanting to spoon and what not. So they talk and he suggests a cuddle date.

What?

So the roomie and I and iGuy and one of his friends from the group all went out to dinner last night, and then iGuy came back to our house with his pajamas and all (like they had talked about), and they curled up in her bed at 12h30 in the morning to watch Harry Potter and spoon. And he's back tonight too. They're in there right now watching Star Wars. Yes they are dorks. No offense to any other dorks out there. I'm a dork, but in the science or music kind of way. Not the dorky kind of dork. You know what I mean. And they're just spooning.

My roomie doesn't have a fuck buddy, she has a spoon buddy.

Hmmm...I see this going somewhere between the two of them.


Alright I think thats all. Holy hell I'm sorry that was a long post, this is why I shouldn't go this long with out updating. I'll be sure to let you all know how it goes in court tomorrow. The goal is to not to be thrown in jail for contempt of court for telling off the judge. People start pooling your bail money now.

And guess what comes out on DVD on Tuesday...